HOW TO UPGRADE YOUR FIREPOWER
Cum farther. Cum faster (velocity, not duration). Cum more powerfully.
Get ready to sink her battleship...or something.
So you’re here to increase your crotch artillery’s firepower. Or, hell, maybe you’re just curious what I mean by “firepower,” so allow me to clarify.
For some men, when it comes time to deliver their payload of chromosome vessels, the procession is something akin to a soap dispenser, dribbling out its contents. The range and direction of such men’s emissions is governed entirely by gravity. In other words, if your girl wants to be on the receiving end, she damn well better be between your crotch sausage and the center of the Earth. This kind of ejaculation has its perks (no danger of cumming in your own eye when going solo for instance.)
For other men, the event is a fireworks display of semi viscous sperm rockets streaming from their DNA Cannons like projectiles from…well…from cannons. These men exhibit what we call “Firepower.”
Nothing wrong with either scenario described above. So long as your emissions are impressive in size (see the article for increasing Payload) their velocity, range, trajectory (or “power” as articles in Men’s Magazines love to swoon) are just a matter of preference. There are a few studies floating around claiming that women prefer flamboyant, fountain-esque ejaculations, but such studies, shockingly, are not exactly methodically rigorous.
For some men, when it comes time to deliver their payload of chromosome vessels, the procession is something akin to a soap dispenser, dribbling out its contents. The range and direction of such men’s emissions is governed entirely by gravity. In other words, if your girl wants to be on the receiving end, she damn well better be between your crotch sausage and the center of the Earth. This kind of ejaculation has its perks (no danger of cumming in your own eye when going solo for instance.)
For other men, the event is a fireworks display of semi viscous sperm rockets streaming from their DNA Cannons like projectiles from…well…from cannons. These men exhibit what we call “Firepower.”
Nothing wrong with either scenario described above. So long as your emissions are impressive in size (see the article for increasing Payload) their velocity, range, trajectory (or “power” as articles in Men’s Magazines love to swoon) are just a matter of preference. There are a few studies floating around claiming that women prefer flamboyant, fountain-esque ejaculations, but such studies, shockingly, are not exactly methodically rigorous.
I know, I know. This isn't helpful.
In any case, an upgrade in firepower is surprisingly simple (albeit not easy) to achieve. It requires that you strengthen your PC muscle. For those who’ve been living under a rock for the past decade, your PC muscle is in your taint, and it’s the one you flex to bounce your dick up and down.
It’s also the very muscle that squeezes the spunk from your splooge tube. The stronger this muscle, that faster (and therefore farther) your spunk fires out. Imagine grabbing a go-gurt with your hand. The stronger your grip, the more powerfully you squeeze. The more powerfully you squeeze, the more dramatic the eruption of go-gurt. This example is oversimplified, but analogous enough for the task at hand.
To strengthen the PC muscle then requires the employment of Kegels. No doubt you’ve heard of this miracle exercise purported to accomplish everything from achieving more intense orgasms, to lasting longer, to fending off prostate cancer. (The validity of such claims is a topic for another article).
For our purposes, we need only know that properly done Kegels are the only proven method for increasing the distance and velocity that one launches his ballistic missiles. (Get it? Ball-isitic…)
It’s also the very muscle that squeezes the spunk from your splooge tube. The stronger this muscle, that faster (and therefore farther) your spunk fires out. Imagine grabbing a go-gurt with your hand. The stronger your grip, the more powerfully you squeeze. The more powerfully you squeeze, the more dramatic the eruption of go-gurt. This example is oversimplified, but analogous enough for the task at hand.
To strengthen the PC muscle then requires the employment of Kegels. No doubt you’ve heard of this miracle exercise purported to accomplish everything from achieving more intense orgasms, to lasting longer, to fending off prostate cancer. (The validity of such claims is a topic for another article).
For our purposes, we need only know that properly done Kegels are the only proven method for increasing the distance and velocity that one launches his ballistic missiles. (Get it? Ball-isitic…)
"..Ninety four. Ninety five. Ninety six..."
So, how do we strengthen the PC muscle with Kegels?
Well here’s how not to:
“3 sets of 100 every day while driving to work”
“5 sets of 100 spread throughout the day”
“5 sets of 3 second holds, followed by 5 sets of fast flexing..."
I’m sure you’ve encountered such nonsense in other blogs or articles. If building muscular strength were this easy, every man would have a firehose between his legs. He’d be packing the equivalent of another bicep between his ass and balls, and could probably cum through cardboard. But of course this isn’t the case.
The PC muscle is a muscle. And just like every other muscle, it does not get strong simply by flexing it an endless number of times. Let’s take your hand for instance. Do you think your grip strength is going to improve by simply making 500 fists every day? Of course not. You need resistance. You need to climb rope, or lift heavy things, or squeeze the shit out of a grip trainer. Resistance people. Same goes for every muscle in your body, to include the PC muscle.
Granted, you can make some minor strength gains just by flexing, on account of your PC muscle essentially having been in a state of atrophy prior to that. But once you’ve awoken your taint from its coma, expect the abrupt onset of a plateau.
Well here’s how not to:
“3 sets of 100 every day while driving to work”
“5 sets of 100 spread throughout the day”
“5 sets of 3 second holds, followed by 5 sets of fast flexing..."
I’m sure you’ve encountered such nonsense in other blogs or articles. If building muscular strength were this easy, every man would have a firehose between his legs. He’d be packing the equivalent of another bicep between his ass and balls, and could probably cum through cardboard. But of course this isn’t the case.
The PC muscle is a muscle. And just like every other muscle, it does not get strong simply by flexing it an endless number of times. Let’s take your hand for instance. Do you think your grip strength is going to improve by simply making 500 fists every day? Of course not. You need resistance. You need to climb rope, or lift heavy things, or squeeze the shit out of a grip trainer. Resistance people. Same goes for every muscle in your body, to include the PC muscle.
Granted, you can make some minor strength gains just by flexing, on account of your PC muscle essentially having been in a state of atrophy prior to that. But once you’ve awoken your taint from its coma, expect the abrupt onset of a plateau.
Warning: Do Not Attempt to Lift Dumbbells With Your Cock
To get stronger you NEED resistance, and there’s really only a couple ways to put resistance on this muscle. Both require a hard on and some alone time.
Yes, I know, this means you can’t do Kegels while driving, or while sitting at your desk at work, but you didn’t honestly think such half-assed attempts were going to do much for you anyway did you?
Here are a couple ways to add resistance to your Kegels
1) Hang something light on the end of your skin flute: a shirt, a pair of undies, or a towel for those of you who are naturally gifted.
2) Use a couple fingers as resistance by pushing down lightly while you flex against it.
Yes, I know, this means you can’t do Kegels while driving, or while sitting at your desk at work, but you didn’t honestly think such half-assed attempts were going to do much for you anyway did you?
Here are a couple ways to add resistance to your Kegels
1) Hang something light on the end of your skin flute: a shirt, a pair of undies, or a towel for those of you who are naturally gifted.
2) Use a couple fingers as resistance by pushing down lightly while you flex against it.
He's wearing a lab coat. It must be legit.
3) For those who wanna take their training to the next level, there's actually a company that has made a custom dick weight, and a program to go with it. No, we're not making this up. You can check it out here, or by clicking the pic.
In any case, you want your sets and reps to resemble those you would aim for with any other exercise for any other muscle (4x12, 4X10, 5X8, 4x20 are all good options). You also want your resistance to be heavy enough that you struggle to complete your sets.
In any case, you want your sets and reps to resemble those you would aim for with any other exercise for any other muscle (4x12, 4X10, 5X8, 4x20 are all good options). You also want your resistance to be heavy enough that you struggle to complete your sets.
I'll bet ball day is a bitch.
Seriously, you want to be putting effort into this, just like you would while bench pressing or doing pull-ups. THIS IS HOW YOU BUILD STRENGTH!! Not by half assedly flexing 200 times a day, or even by half-assedly flexing with added resistance. You need to work! Also, keep in mind a few of things.
First, your little soldier will have to be at attention for this to work, so you’ll have to act as your own fluffer between sets. If your dick starts to droop, not only will it be hard to keep your chosen weight from sliding off, but your junk will no longer be an effective lever. Imagine trying to launch stones with a flaccid catapult.
Second, even a rigorous workout is unlikely to make your PC sore the following day. This is because it is very difficult to cause the kind of damage to this muscle that is necessary for muscle growth. That being said, do not do these exercises every day, or even every other day. This can lead to injury. Take a couple days off between workouts. Muscle grows while it rests. I’ve seen impressive results taking as much as 4-5 days off between workouts. Committed exercise followed by committed rest is essential. But of course there’s one more component…
First, your little soldier will have to be at attention for this to work, so you’ll have to act as your own fluffer between sets. If your dick starts to droop, not only will it be hard to keep your chosen weight from sliding off, but your junk will no longer be an effective lever. Imagine trying to launch stones with a flaccid catapult.
Second, even a rigorous workout is unlikely to make your PC sore the following day. This is because it is very difficult to cause the kind of damage to this muscle that is necessary for muscle growth. That being said, do not do these exercises every day, or even every other day. This can lead to injury. Take a couple days off between workouts. Muscle grows while it rests. I’ve seen impressive results taking as much as 4-5 days off between workouts. Committed exercise followed by committed rest is essential. But of course there’s one more component…
Just be careful where you point that thing. It's all fun and games until someone gets cum in their eyes.
Third, like any muscle, your PC muscle requires the proper nutrients to grow. This means protein, and an otherwise healthy diet. I realize that if you’re not already eating healthy, the likelihood of you subjecting your diet to an overhaul for the sake of cumming farther is unlikely. Just know that it is necessary if you want to see results. If you find yourself diligently training your taint muscle and getting proper rest, and your ejaculations continue to be lackluster, your diet is probably lacking.
So there you have it. The secret to gaining strength in your PC muscle, and thereby boosting your DNA CANNON’S firepower is a realistic training regimen. Granted, it’s a lot of effort just to cum farther, but it’s necessary.
Just like you won’t be able to increase your bench press by flexing your chest a few times while you drive to work, you won’t see any strength gains in your dick muscle without a resistance training regimen. It’s the truth. Take it or leave it.
Of course, firepower alone isn't going to turn your little vegetable sprayer into a fire hose. For an impressive climax, you'll also need to upgrade the amount of ball batter you splatter, so be sure to check out the Payload article.
Thanks for reading. And as always, Happy Splooging.
So there you have it. The secret to gaining strength in your PC muscle, and thereby boosting your DNA CANNON’S firepower is a realistic training regimen. Granted, it’s a lot of effort just to cum farther, but it’s necessary.
Just like you won’t be able to increase your bench press by flexing your chest a few times while you drive to work, you won’t see any strength gains in your dick muscle without a resistance training regimen. It’s the truth. Take it or leave it.
Of course, firepower alone isn't going to turn your little vegetable sprayer into a fire hose. For an impressive climax, you'll also need to upgrade the amount of ball batter you splatter, so be sure to check out the Payload article.
Thanks for reading. And as always, Happy Splooging.